The secret to becoming a successful mofo

18 thoughts on “The secret to becoming a successful mofo”

  1. I’ve come to appreciate your point on rejecting society’s definition of success. My goals and life mission are defined by me and I will ultimately be the one who can judge whether I was successful or not. And what matters most to me is how successful I feel and my close family and friends around me.

    Life is filled with success and failures though. It’s important to keep perspective on which things in life are priorities and to strive for success in those areas first and foremost. For me, I want to be a successful family man and contributor at work; I don’t want to let down my family or people around me at work.

    1. Thanks Green Swan, I think you’ve got exactly the right attitude about this. Success should be a personal thing, not something that’s decided on by arbitrary definitions in society. And your priorities of supporting your family and friends is absolutely admirable!

  2. So true Steve – and I loved the line about our culture becoming so selfish, yet worried about what everyone thinks! So many people seem obsessed with competing with each other to look better and do better and get better things. It takes work to step away and focus on yourself and your goals and you. Only you can define success – but you have to take ownership of that too.

      1. Definitely Brian! Luckily my daughter just was never into the social media thing. My son is but seems to have risen above a lot of the “one upping” this last year. He understands money much better now (after having a job!) – so that has helped!

    1. Thanks Vicki. It’s strange, isn’t it? We’re generally an incredibly selfish society, but yet we still care so much about what other people think of us. You said it best – taking ownership over your own success is what makes us successful.

  3. Every so often I don’t self thinking back to high school and the voting of most likely to succeed. These days it really makes me wonder what is success and can I say I’ve achieved it. I find myself defining it in my head like you do in your last paragraph. My goals and only my goals define my success. Otherwise they don’t make sense in the context of my life.

    1. I’ve always found those high school questions curious. Most likely to succeed? Based on what? And what defines success? I guess it was just a fun little game to play, but it struck me as pretty disingenuous, too.

      “My goals and only my goals define my success. Otherwise they donโ€™t make sense in the context of my life.” – Well said!

  4. Success is full of arbitrary markers, isn’t it? Now that I’m back in grad classes (again…sigh), I realize how motivated I am by grades. Which is entirely absurd. The concept of success is definitely something that we construct ourselves or let society construct for us. I definitely need to always remind myself of lesson one!

    1. Thanks Penny. It’s easy to be motivated by grades. I was too when I got into college, but graduating Summa Cum Laude or otherwise, life after college is just the same. That’s probably a good thing, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Great blog you have here. Its inspirational. Ive been reading your post for over a year and this is my first comment.This is exactly what I needed to hear at this precise moment. I am winding down in my career. Actually I have about 941 days until I am able to retire at 55 with a government pension and several paid rental properties under my belt. I was just questioning myself and whether or not I am successful enough compared to friends and family who have become doctors, lawyers, executives etc. You are correct in your statement “because in the end, thats what truly matters in your life. YOU….” Just me.

    1. Thanks so much for your comment! Thanks for your readership, too – I’m humbled. 941 days, huh? But who’s counting, right? ๐Ÿ™‚

      When we compare ourselves to others, we NEVER win. Ever. It’s impossible, but we’ll always find people supposedly “better” than us. But it’s just not true. Nobody is better. We are just different. Differences are what make the world go round, I tell you! ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. Well said Steve! And as a man who has been happily married for almost 20 years, I can proudly say that I do not let society dictate what success looks like for me, I let me wife do it! Ha ha!

    Actually, it’s all about being deliberate in your goals, your actions and what you define success to be, right? If you just bump along with everyone else, you’ll end up in a bad place. It’s much more difficult to do than you might think, as I don’t think most folks are used to thinking for themselves to that degree.

    Once you find a spouse/partner and you are both on the same page, the rest is easy!

    1. Good on you, Jon! Definitely sounds like you understand exactly what makes you tick and have your priorities straight. Oh, and this: “Once you find a spouse/partner and you are both on the same page, the rest is easy!”

      So that!

  7. Where do assholes end and successful people begin? Hard to say.

    I’ve met my fair share of “successful” people who trod on others to achieve their success. I didn’t like that version of success, but it seemed to be the most common form.

    So I gave up on the word “success”. I don’t use it anymore. Despite my financial independence I don’t consider myself a “success” at all. The word is too charged with images of fancy cars, big houses, and cocktail parties.

    No thanks, I’ll pass on that word. Other things are more important than this so called “success”

    1. Good question, Mr. Tako. That line is very, very fine indeed. And you’re right, it is too charged with the possession of stuff…expensive stuff. It’s sad.

  8. Man we need more s#%t out there like this! ๐Ÿ™‚
    It’s great to see people talking about not comparing yourself to others when it comes to success and life in general etc

    I must say it’s damn tough in some respects not to although it’s about a process I suppose rather than accepting that it will happen straight away

    1. Thanks for your comment, Jef! I agree, it is definitely about a process, and it will come easier to some of us than to others. For me, I found it was a snowball…tough to get going, but once a little moment was gained, it became much, much easier.

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